robber: *breaks into my house assuming everyone’s asleep*
my fatass eating at 2am:
I will give Brand New Car to someone random who retweets this in the next 72 hours (must be following me so I can dm you)
I’m calling the FBI
Eu bebendo água de manhã depois de ter enchido o cu de bebida no dia anterior..
France and President @EmmanuelMacron
have done a really great job thus far with a very important G-7. Lunch with Emmanuel was the best meeting we have yet had. Likewise, evening meeting with World Leaders went very well. Progress being made!
Andrew Luck you couldn’t have shared that news before I drafted you an hour ago? #andrewluck @Colts
Andrew Luck already has met with Colts’ owner Jim Irsay to tell him that he is retiring, per source.
When you outlast both Manning & Luck
Happy Birthday Regis, a truly special man!
Never cheated on his wife
Never paid a pornstar for sex
Didn’t grab em by the 🐱
Never accused of rape
Was actually Presidential
Didn’t steal children’s dreams
Actually grew economy
Cared about the environment
Had a real First Lady
First 'Black Widow' poster has been revealed; shows off David Harbour's Red Guardian for the first time. #D23Expo
Practicing my winks ; ) 💋
Pretty ironic to hear President Trump “hereby declare” all American companies stop doing business in China when he STILL hasn’t come clean about his own dealings with governments overseas, as required by the U.S. Constitution.
Ninguém me contou, eu vi. #BrasilNasRuas
No matter what happens, we are going to enjoy tomorrow as if it was our last DotA games. Feel free to join and celebrate with us 🥰 #DreamOG
LOUISIANA WINS IT ALL 🏆
In the state's first appearance in the #LLWS Championship Game, Louisiana beats Curaçao 8-0!
Texans fear RB Lamar Miller tore his ACL, per source.
Cancelo cualquier plan con tal de dormir la siesta.
The Cherokee Nation
The Cherokee Nation intends to appoint a delegate to the US House of Representatives, asserting for the 1st time a right promised to the tribe in a 200-year-old treaty w/ the federal government. Kimberly Teehee has been nominated to serve as the delegate. https://t.co/aq4hMtMxIC