Diaz
My kind of news day:
"Geologist Finds Rare Formation Inside Rock That Looks Exactly Like Cookie Monster on Sesame Street"

Rock Lee
Where’s the stimmy BIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN???

Rolex
Headlines complaining about Biden’s peloton and Rolex after 4 years of a dude with a literal gold toilet are beyond parody
Kansas
// ableism
it really sucks to only see autistic people talking about sia’s movie. that movie has a scene of prone restraint that is portrayed as the correct way to handle meltdowns. THIS WILL GET AUTISTIC PEOPLE KILLED. please stand up for us and with us. please.
tourette
As someone who has Tourette’s in their family (and also has a very mild case himself), I once again take great pleasure in telling you to go fuck yourself. (Also VERY few cases of Tourette’s manifest in uncontrollable swearing. Most cases, like mine, manifest in twitching.)
https://t.co/NJaEjMfNJtDuke
Soybean price is down 70 cents per bushel in the last two days.
Corn is down 50 cents per bushel in two days.
For those who don’t know, a small farmer like me working 1,000 acres just lost $100,000 on a 200bushel per acre average corn crop thanks to Biden’s executive orders.
UCLA
If you’re wearing a mask and not covering your nose, you are not being half right. More like a half wit. Cmon folks. Pull it up.
Ducey
If condoning President Trump’s behavior is required to stay in the AZGOP’s good graces, I’m just fine being on the outs.
https://t.co/2rzCTu1AcZOliveira
"timidez é tão fofo"
fala isso pras 73828273 oportunidades q eu perdi por causa dela
KO'd
Grabe, piling ko ang powerful ko don sa part na lagi akong puyat tapos di pa rin ako patay.
Suns
no les pasa que ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨sienten que no están logrando lo que deberían estar logrando a su edad✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Indy
อีกหนึ่งสิ่งที่ครูไม่ควรให้เด็กประถมทำคือการเขียนชื่อเพื่อนสนิท 1 คนลงในใบซัมติงอะ มาให้จัด priority เพื่อนสร้างความน้อยใจในหมู่เด็กด้วยกันเปล่าๆ ทำไมเราจะมีเพื่อนสนิทหลายคนไม่ได้ แล้วเด็กที่เข้ากับเพื่อนไม่ค่อยได้เขาจะรู้สึกไงที่ต้องเขียนอะไรแบบนี้อะ
Justice Department
The torrent of new information about his misconduct in the final weeks is just beginning. It will not be possible to just move on. And conviction by the Senate is all the more important.
https://t.co/7zMEOQwYlpMadison Cawthorn
CNN's Pamela Brown challenged Madison Cawthorn to cite evidence of election fraud to back up his vote against certifying the election results. He had nothing.

The NYT
This is the most important thing I've ever written.
My friend and family Lauren
@Wolfe321 was just fired by the @NYTimes after the NYT was pressured by fascists, Trumpkins and hypocrites on the right for tweeting she had "chills" after witnessing Biden's landing on the 20th.

Sanchez
Isn’t it nice to have a President who doesn’t look like a complete schlub in a business suit? It makes me ebullient. Every time I see
@POTUS, I know he wasn’t just lying on his bed, in his suit, watching cable news,eating chocolate cake and cheeseburgers.
Walt Disney
They’re all dead. So I think we’re good. And Walt Disney was a Republican.
Even though you behave online like a Marxist with Tourette’s (screaming “F U! F U!” is really, really clever), your movies are typically pretty funny.
I’m sure you hate that I enjoy them.
https://t.co/ImVm26QWb8hypixel
Hypixel is where I'll be most, although I'll probably end up choosing 1 of the 5 winners from a different small server :P